Healthy physical boundaries dating
I'm currently in a relationship with a guy who is a Christian, and we're in a forward-moving relationship.We've discussed sexual temptation and how we want this to be a God-honoring relationship.You have set some very good goals about purity in your relationship, but your other choices are undermining those goals and will likely cause you to fail. Saying that you want to save your first kiss for marriage is awesome, but kissing on the cheek or the side of your lips — as if that is not kissing — is not going to help you accomplish that goal.Having your bodies against one another, even though clothed, for extended time while struggling with lustful thoughts and becoming nervous and excited will not help you accomplish your goals of sexual purity.You may still be keeping a distance, but you are giving them a chance to prove their trustworthiness both physically and emotionally.
Isn’t our partner supposed to anticipate our wants and needs? Many of Ryan Howes’s clients assume that having boundaries means not having loving feelings toward their partner. In healthy relationships partners “ask permission, take one another’s feelings into account, show gratitude and respect differences in opinion, perspective and feelings.”In less healthy relationships, partners assume their partner feels the same way they do (e.g., “I like this, so you must, too”), Howes said.
Such boundaries are usually unrealistic and don’t last, she said.
She shared these examples: “You can never” or “You must always.”Other poor boundaries alienate you from your partner, have a double standard or try to manipulate an outcome, she said.
Journalist Natasha Burton has written for Cosmopolitan for Latinas, Maxim, Cosmopolitan.com, and Womans Day.com, among others.
The author of "101 Quizzes for Couples" and "The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags," she is regularly called on as a relationship expert by various media outlets around the world.
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Healthy boundaries do not always come naturally or easily.